Stop comparing yourself to others; it’s not healthy or helpful!
Theodore Roosevelt in the late 1800's said that “comparison is the thief of joy. Had he lived during the twenty first century, he would probably have been even more convinced of the validity of these words.
But what you should also know is that comparison is the thief of more than just joy - it can seriously take away from running your own business and/or performing in your work or job. And, not only that, but it:
Distracts you from what’s important
Is a waste of resources, as it eats up time that could be used in a more productive way
Can impact on your health and wellbeing - with increased levels of anxiety and feelings of low self-esteem
Origins
Comparing ourselves to others probably began when we were children and our parents compared us to our siblings, or their friends’ children when it came to milestones or achievements. This may have continued into school, university, and even your work life. It may have also filtered into relationships and friendships over time, making you feel inadequate and unhappy as you start to question whether you are good enough.
Not fair or correct
My advice is to stop it now. Comparisons are never fair. For a start you won’t ever be comparing like for like. Every one of us is unique, with characteristics, behaviours and experiences that only apply to us. Of course we have things in common with others, but we are not the same. When you compare yourself to someone else, you are damaging your potential to achieve what you deserve, as well as continuing to do untold damage to your self-worth and self-esteem.
Social media isn’t helpful when it comes to the comparison stakes. Many people spend hours of their time each day/week looking at what other people have created and achieved, and then afterwards feel that they are falling short. But remember to challenge what you see, as the comments and images are most probably highly edited and sanitized, possibly even touched-up, and bear nothing but a brief resemblance to the real lives that we are all living.
Compare and despair
It's common to compare your achievements, abilities, and professional life with your peers, but this won’t help you when it comes to successful teamworking, getting that promotion you deserve, or allowing yourself to develop and grow professionally. Here are a few ways in which you can avoid comparisons in the workplace.
1. Be aware of your own thoughts – see clearly when and how you judge yourself and how hard you are on yourself. Once you are aware of the process, try to let go of it and/or shift your way of thinking.
2. Ditch the self-criticism. Try to understand what you think you are missing out on and why. Look to change the narrative so you are kinder to yourself. Perhaps try to make yourself the hero or heroine of your own story instead?
3. Focus on the journey. Evaluate your own performance to find examples of what you are doing well. Celebrate every win, no matter how big or small. Remind yourself daily of the positive impact you are having on other people’s lives.
4. Embrace collaboration over competition. Try to celebrate and encourage others so you are able to work happily and productively together to achieve shared goals.
5. The grass isn't always greener. We do not know what other people’s lives are about, what they’re dealing with, the decisions they’ve taken, the sacrifices they’ve made and/or the battles they are facing.
But it’s worth pointing out that not all comparisons are bad for you. There are certain situations in which the positive effects of comparison can help you. I’m talking about someone who has achieved something amazing – a role model if you like – which gives you a blueprint, learning opportunity and/or belief to help you get there too.
Ask for help
When we constantly compare ourselves to our peers we are at higher risk of burnout. The pressure to excel can lead to emotional exhaustion and reduced job satisfaction.
However, not comparing yourself to others can sometimes be easier said than done - it's worth making the effort though because of how it will help your work and professional development. Get in touch if you would like to gain more confidence in your own abilities, change your mindset and get ahead.